Can these three words save us?

"How are you"

Three words and a question mark.

It must have been the way I said it this morning to my supervisor on our daily Teams video chat. Was it my inflection? Was it my concerned look that communicated a genuine desire to listen to her answer.

After a pause, she started to cry and then apologized (you know, professional boundaries and all). And then said, "No one has asked me that in a week." My heart hurt a little after hearing that, but I was pleased that for once I was in a good place to be present and available, even if it was just for a few moments before getting on with the business of the day. This pandemic reveals so many vulnerabilities in our world: health insurance, government policies, gaps in services, and most importantly, in each of us.

I have at least one person in my life that I can count on to ask me, "How are you?" In these pandemic days, I have another friend who has been checking in around 2 or 3 in the afternoon to see how I am doing. And of course, there is my departmental partner in crime whose daily buddy checks over the last year or so have given me a safe place to vent and continue to do so. I am so grateful for their care and concern; it helps me to feel more human and less isolated. When friends and coworkers and neighbors are sharing survival strategies, I think I will share this simple one: ask someone, "How are you?" and really listen for the answer.

These three words might not cure us, but they could save us.